When we are talking about matters like "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Are you able to relate to women?", I often get asked about how to begin getting physical with a girl that you have known as a pal for awhile.
Getting physical is something which usually occurs naturally between a man and a woman over a three month period unless either of them is really uncomfortable on disinterested.
When a man is not comfortable with approaching a woman for a physical relationship, the main thing which a man can do to take care of that is learn how to observe and make use of gradients.
What exactly are gradients? Gradients are just like steps on a ladder that you climb to get to the top. A few guys may try to go to the top of the ladder without climbing any of the steps. And that makes the girl uneasy and also the guy.
A man who is uncomfortable in this area ought to learn both how to recognize gradients when women use them and how to use gradients on girls.
Not all women will begin at the same gradient. Some women will begin with a kiss after a first date, and move up gradually or quickly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and finally to sexual relations. If a man attempts to leap to the "sexual relations" step without going through the other gradients, he might just lose the girl. Conversely, you may lose a girl because you are moving up the gradients too slowly.
Now other women won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her might be: getting to know you, speaking about sexual subjects indirectly (for instance commiserating about an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (bumping into you while you walk), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm as you stroll, holding your hand, and then a goodnight kiss.
If you are not comfortable with this area and wish to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, notice where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then lead her up the gradients gently. So long as you don't skip a lot of gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients quickly or slowly depending on her persona.
If she is not interested, she probably won't move up. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't move up, try talking about it. Ask her if she is interested in a relationship with you or if she only wants to be good friends.
Also remember that most women won't go out on a "date" with you unless they are already vaguely okay with the idea of getting physical with you. Therefore you may need to clarify if you are dating or just "chilling out."
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